What is the Gottman Method?

The Gottman Method is a structured, evidence-informed approach to couples therapy developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. It is grounded in over 40 years of research studying real couples and identifying the patterns that predict relationship success, as well as the patterns that lead to disconnection.

Rather than focusing only on what is going wrong, the Gottman Method helps couples strengthen what makes relationships thrive. This includes friendship, trust, emotional safety, shared meaning, and the ability to navigate conflict in healthier ways.

Many couples appreciate this approach because it offers clarity, structure, and tools that can be applied immediately.

How the Gottman Method Works

Gottman therapy focuses on helping couples strengthen three core areas that support long-term relationship health.
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Friendship & Connection

Strengthening emotional closeness through curiosity, appreciation, and shared understanding.
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Conflict Management

Learning how to navigate disagreements without escalation, shutdown, or repeated damage to the relationship.
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Shared Meaning & Life Goals

Exploring deeper values, dreams, and life direction so the relationship feels purposeful and aligned.

The Sound Relationship House

The Gottman Method is built around a framework called the Sound Relationship House, which includes:

  • building love maps
  • sharing fondness and admiration
  • turning toward instead of away
  • maintaining a positive perspective
  • managing conflict
  • supporting life dreams
  • creating shared meaning

Trust and commitment form the foundation that allows the relationship to feel stable, safe, and resilient over time.

What Gottman Therapy Can Help With

The Gottman Method can support couples navigating a wide range of relationship concerns, including:

  • communication breakdown and recurring arguments
  • emotional distance or disconnection
  • resentment or unresolved hurt
  • differences in conflict style (pursue/withdraw, escalation/shutdown)
  • intimacy concerns and loss of closeness
  • parenting stress and family pressures
  • blended family dynamics
  • work stress and life overload
  • betrayal, rupture, or rebuilding trust
  • major transitions such as moving, illness, loss, retirement, or pregnancy
  • feeling more like roommates than partners

Couples do not need to be in crisis to benefit. Many partners come to therapy proactively to strengthen their relationship before problems grow.

What Sessions Are Like

Many couples appreciate the structure of the Gottman Method, especially if they have tried to improve things on their own and still feel stuck. Gottman couples therapy often includes:

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Initial Assessment

Exploring strengths, stressors, patterns, and goals through conversation and structured questionnaires.
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Skill Building

Learning practical tools to support communication, emotional understanding, and repair.
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Guided Communication

Practicing new ways of talking and listening in session with therapist support.
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Repair & Reconnection

Identifying and repairing micro-ruptures and misunderstandings that can erode connection over time.

Not All Conflict Is the Same

One of the strengths of the Gottman Method is that it helps couples understand two different types of relationship challenges:

Solvable Problems: Concrete issues like chores, scheduling, finances, or parenting logistics.

Perpetual Problems: Ongoing differences in personality, values, or needs that don’t have a right answer.

Gottman therapy helps couples manage both, including learning how to stay connected even when differences do not disappear.

Is Gottman Therapy Right for Us?

Gottman Method couples therapy may be a good fit if you want to:

  • improve communication and reduce conflict
  • rebuild emotional connection and intimacy
  • repair trust after rupture or disconnection
  • understand recurring patterns and arguments
  • feel less like opponents and more like a team
  • strengthen your relationship during a stressful season
  • prepare for a major transition such as marriage, parenting, or relocation

You do not need to be at a breaking point for therapy to help. Many couples come simply because they want to strengthen what they already have.

Why We Use Gottman Therapy at Foothills Integrative

At Foothills Integrative, we value therapy that is both relational and evidence-informed. The Gottman Method aligns with our approach because it offers structure, clarity, and practical tools, while still supporting emotional connection and deeper understanding.

We often integrate Gottman work with Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), which supports attachment needs and emotional depth. Together, these approaches help couples strengthen both skills and connection.

Our Couples Therapists

Take the Next Step

If Gottman Method couples therapy feels like it might be the right fit, the best first step is a conversation. We offer a free 20-minute consultation to help you explore fit, ask questions, and determine what approach feels right for your relationship.

No pressure, just presence.

In-person sessions in Okotoks, and virtual therapy across Alberta.

BOOK YOUR FREE CONSULT NOW ASK US A QUESTION

Common Questions about the Gottman Method

 Yes. It is one of the most researched forms of couples therapy.

No. Gottman work is effective for dating partners, long-term partners, and engaged couples as well.

There is structure, but it is flexible and collaborative. Many couples appreciate the clarity.

One partner’s motivation is enough to start. Many couples warm up once therapy feels safer.